Love for Kenya
From CHAPTER ONE...
Kenya Marcus stood in front of her bedroom mirror looking at herself one last time as she settled on an outfit to wear to work. She was not happy with her appearance, but what could she do? It wasn’t the black dress pants or the mid-thigh long red satin blouse that posed the problem. It was her. She was just too big. Tipping the scales at a massive two hundred sixty two pounds, Kenya thought she looked more like a five foot eight brown-skinned pig stuffed into a red and black blanket. She turned to get a side view of herself and scoffed. She looked even worse that way. Her stomach poked out a little and her backside poked out a lot. She sighed at the sight.
She could almost hear her mother telling her that she needed to “pull back from the table sometime” so she wouldn’t be so fat. There had been so many times when her mother had told her that her weight would always keep her from getting pretty clothes and from ever getting the attention of a nice young man. She told her to “just stop eating so much”.
“No one wants a fatty,” she would say with that false hint of concern in her voice. Kenya wanted to cry at the memory, but those tears had already been shed enough. Although the words still burned a hole right through her, she would not let the unpleasantness of the past put a damper on this day. She had more to think about today. Besides, it wasn’t as if she was trying to be fat.
She wanted to loose the weight, but having been overweight every day of her twenty eight years of life, made it hard. She had been a fat baby who grew up to be a fat child who grew up to be fat her. Nothing she did seemed to stop that progression. She had tried time and time again to get the weight off or at least stop it from packing on. She exercised. She tried to eat right. She’d removed all sweets and junk foods from her diet before she had even reached her teens. She’d tried everything short of surgery, which she’d flat out refused. There was no way that she was going to let some doctor cut on her just so she could be slimmer. She had to draw the line somewhere.
If only she could loose a little weight, she would be okay, but after trying almost every diet on the market without loosing a single pound, Kenya determined that it was hopeless. She would never get down to the size that she wanted- a perfect size eight. Every one of the twenty doctors that she’d visited on the past four years had told her that with her bone structure, the best she could hope for was about a fifty pound loss. Even though that would have been an improvement, it wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to look like those women in the magazines.
From Chapter One
“Was that supposed to be your way of letting me know that you were married?”
“No. That was me talking to someone who should have already known that I am married.”
“Oh. Then that makes it all right, doesn’t it? I should have thought to ask you if you were married when you asked me out that first time. I should have said ‘Hey, Mister. How about you tell me whether or not you have a wife at home before you take me out tonight!’”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Rainy.”
“Don’t you ever call me that again! My name is Raiyne. Where I’m from married men don’t go around asking people to go out with them. I’ve got to get out of here.” With those departing words, she grabbed her coat and her purse and headed for the door. Just before opening it, she looked back to face him one last time.
“By the way, I called you in here to tell you that I am over three months pregnant with your child.”
Then, she ran. She ran as if her life depended on it- pulling her coat on as she went. She could hear him calling out her name as she ran past the elevators and into the stairwell. She just kept running. She took the stairs two at a time. She did not slow down, and she did not look back. She had had enough. She had waited three years for him to tell her that he loved her and wanted to make her his wife, but had all been for nothing.
Michael couldn’t move. He wanted to chase after her, but his feet would not move. His mind was taking in her parting statement, and the realization of her words would not let him move. He gave a mental shake and finally ran out of her office hoping to catch her.
Michael reached the door leading to the outside just in time to see her jump into her car and speed away. She was gone, but he was determined that she would not get away without talking to him about the bomb she’d just dropped. He’d catch up with her later. She just needed some time to calm down. He would go by her apartment after work, and then they would be able to talk things out.
“I’m going to be a father,” he said softly into the cold winter air, and then he turned and walked back inside.
“If you really must know, I gave it to the mother of my child.” He knew that would hurt her, but he refused to lie to her about it. There had already been enough dishonesty in their marriage to last a lifetime.
Sharon’s usually cool demeanor faltered. Her face had grown red and flushed and then pale. A baby was the one thing that she could not have. She had tried, but she just couldn’t conceive. Then after a while, Michael had become so engrossed in his work that she just didn’t care anymore. She started dating again, and although she and Michael were still married, she lived her life as though she were single. It had taken him almost a year to realize what was going on.
“What do mean? Are you saying that some bimbo out there is having your baby?” Karen’s face was red with anger now. Her emotions were running hot and cold by the second.
“No. She’s not a bimbo, but yes, I am about to be a father. I gave her some money to help out with expenses.”
“Half a million dollars is a lot of expenses?” Sharon cocked an interested eye towards her husband. There was more here than he was telling. “Where is this non-bimbo mother of your child now? When is this supposed child of yours due to be born? ”
“I‘m guessing that she‘s due to give birth sometime in the next few months. If I‘ve estimated correctly from the last time I talked to her, that should be about right.”
“You mean you don’t know? Darling, that is the oldest trick in the book. The little trollop used you. She probably got pregnant by some ditch digger and figured she‘d be better off saying that the child was yours. I mean, after all, you are worth millions.”
“The child is mine, Sharon. I know it is.” Michael refused to believe that Raiyne could ever be the deceptive type. He spent too much of his time her and knew her too well to believe that she could be anything other than what she presented herself to be.
“Well, if you’re so sure about that… I want to meet her.”
Sharon thought for a minute. She’d wanted a baby for years. Now here was her husband telling her that he had fathered on with another woman. She had to find out who this woman was.
“I want to meet this woman and make her a little offer that I am sure that she will not refuse.”
“What kind of offer?”
“I want the baby. I will pay her three times what you gave her if you she will hand the child over to me as soon as it is born. Call her and arrange it for me. I want that baby.” The way she talked, Sharon could have been asking him for a glass of water.
“Sharon, this is not a doll or a new piece of jewelry. You can’t just buy it.”
“You paid for it,” she said matter-of-factly.
“No, I didn’t. I didn‘t give her the money to buy the baby from her. I gave her the money because she had expenses that needed to be taken care of.”
“Get me that baby!” She shouted to him.
“Why not? You’ve never refused me anything before.”
“I will not do this for you. You have no right to ask for this child.” Sharon knew exactly how to push his buttons. He had been fighting away anger since the moment she appeared in his office, but her last demand was making it hard for him to keep his temper at bay. He was not about to take a child from sweet Raiyne to give it to his selfish wife. He had already caused Raiyne more hurt than he had intended. He would not hurt her any more. “Besides, I don’t even know where she is…”
“I’ve always wanted a child, but you know that I could not have one. Let me have this one to love. Just tell me her name, and I can a private investigator locate her before the week is out.” Tears were actually rolling down Sharon’s face, Michael started to tell her that he would do this for her, but the memory of Raiyne’s final day at work still haunted him.
After Raiyne‘s emotional departure from the office, Michael had driven by her apartment after work. He had not found her car in the parking lot of the complex, so he decided that he would go inside and wait for her. He used the key that she had given him to get inside the deluxe two bedroom space where he’d spent so many nights with her to find that many of her things were missing. He checked her closets and found that her clothes were gone. He looked from room to room taking in account everything that was not there.
She was gone. All of her furniture remained so there was hope that she would eventually return. Maybe she would come back before the birth of their child. Praying daily that she would, he’d been keeping her rent paid in hopes that she would return soon. If not, he’d hoped that she would at least let him know where she was. He wanted to be there.
“Just tell me who this woman is and where I can find her.. Are you hiding her somewhere? Tell me!” Anger had replaced the hurt that Sharon was feeling. She’d thought she would never know the joys of motherhood, but here was her chance. Michael was being unreasonable..
Why would he not even consider this?
“I’m not hiding her. I really have no idea where she is, and as far as telling you anything about her, you can forget that. I won’t have you barging in snatching her child right from out of her arms.”
“I know that you want your child. We can raise it together. All you have to do is tell me her name, and I’ll do the rest. I‘ll even let her have visitation.”
Michael looked at his wife. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed a weary hand over his face. He did want his child. He wanted it a lot more than he could possibly say, and if this had been any other woman, he’d given in to his wife’s request without hesitation. He just could not do this to the sweet girl who’d loved him when he thought he was unlovable. It was bad enough that he had taken her love and never returned it.
How could he take Raiyne’s child?
“How do you know that she even wants the child? She may be planning to put it up for adoption. She may have even already disposed of it or lost it.”
Good question. Michael had never even thought about that. How do I know what Raiyne’s plans are concerning the baby? Maybe she was planning to give it up anyway. Maybe she’d already done away with it. No, she said that she was three months along when she told. That was already too late for an abortion, wasn’t it? He didn’t know.
“We can adopt you a child if you want one,” he offered.
“But it won’t be yours. This one is yours. We can get this child and give him everything. Just think about it. We can talk more when you get home today.” Without another word, Sharon rose and left.
Reflections of a Mississippi Magnolia: A Life in Poems
Excerpt from Living Reality by Audrey M. Virges.
We Are Very Blessed
Whether you believe it or not
We are very very blessed.
Because GOD woke us this morning
And with JESUS in our hearts
That's blessed at its best.
So what if we don't drive the finest car
Or eat in the finest restaurants every meal
Or have money to throw away
Like as do some of the big wheels.
What if the clothes we wear
Are not really the top of the line?
We are still truly blessed
Just keep them neatly ironed.
What if the home in which we live
Is not a mansion on a hill?
We are truly blessed with what we have
That we can afford to pay the bills.
And your job you have you're blessed with
Although you have no degree?
Do it to the best of your ability
For it will help you meet your needs.
If you think you're not blessed
Take a deep breath,
And see if the air is yours to give.
If you think you're not blessed,
Began loosing your breath
Then will no other blessing matter but to live.